Jakobs Journal

March 2, 2011…Grandma is Coming…

I’m tired and it hurts. Don’t wanna dwell on those two facts but I feel they are worth mentioning. Briefly. I have a thoracic strain and I’ve had houseguests for the last 10 days. I love them very much, they were very helpful. I’m tired. And I keep looking at my new tattoo…which I love but today I’m questioning where ... Read More »

February 21, 2011…Go Fix It

472 lights on, all at once. Not a light in the house left off. I’ve discussed this before and it continues to be a sticking point around here. Between my electric bill and light bulbs, it’s amazing I can still feed him. And it seems that when one light goes out, they all go out. I need to have a ... Read More »

February 15, 2011…More Than Hope…

We’re getting into that time of year where I become a sappy mess. I cry, I love people, I get possessive and protective and I feel like such a part of a community that I’m almost overwhelmed with emotion. Which is big for me since I have always done everything in my power to avoid heavy emotion. But when it ... Read More »

February 14, 2011…Begin Here…

After my big “near-death experience”…where do I begin? I’m gonna begin by taking ownership of all of it. I own my mother-of-all panic attacks. I chose it. Every last second of it. I could have made different choices all along the path I was heading down but I didn’t. I chose what I chose and I know where it landed ... Read More »

February 11, 2011…The ER

Chest pains, numbness in the feet and hands, racing heart, back pain, shortness of breath, light-headedness, dizziness, fatigue, palpitations, cold sweat. Now that’s a party. It started when the alarm went off at 4:00AM. It began with back pain unlike any back pain I’d ever had. Then one after another, symptoms just kept piling on. With a little help from ... Read More »

February 5, 2011…Stupid Frogs…

We’ve spent a lot of time at Target this past week. When Jakob wants to go shopping, he’s pretty persistent (wonder where he gets that). He’s been on a book kick lately. Now he wants to collect two of each book that he has. Currently, the genre is BrainQuest Workbooks. He just digs them. We sit down and go chapter ... Read More »

February 1, 2011…Return Visit…

So we went back to the dentist yesterday. This time, we had to get two molds done and a quick bite impression. I’m so glad we practiced the molds before we went. We spent a lot of time opening his mouth, shoving his fingers in and holding the pose for 20 seconds. That was about the best we could do ... Read More »

January 29, 2011…Analysis

A very bright 18-year-old made a very good observation about me recently. He said, “her mind is so busy and intense that she can be exhausting”. I laughed out loud when I heard that because I have no doubt that it’s true. I would simply add that if you really wanna experience exhaustion, live in this mind of mine for ... Read More »

January 24, 2011…Hi, Mom…

Welcome to a Panic Attack Monday. I can say that now and giggle a little bit…knowing that all conditions are favorable for a full-on panic attack to occur but thanks to my awareness of my internal warning system, I can generally put a stop to it before it gets to a Level 1 emergency. Some deep cleansing breaths and I’m ... Read More »

January 17…the Dentist…

Well that was fun. No, really, it was. Once I got past the feeling of wanting to do physical harm to people who obviously don’t get it, it was actually fun. Dentist appointment. Those two words alone will create a reaction in any Autism Mom. Wanna make it bigger? One hour, forty-five minute dentist appointment with no drugs…for him or ... Read More »