Jakobs Journal

August 2, 2009…back for awhile


It’s been a crazy month. I’ve been travelling all over the place and having all kinds of different experiences…from being an NKOTB groupie to being homeless in downtown San Diego. Never a dull moment.

The week in Massachusetts was great. I got a bunch of stuff figured out and got called out on a bunch my own crap. Love that. Love it when smart people call me out. I love smart people. People I can’t pull anything over on are my favorite kind of people. It’s called forced authenticity. Can’t lie to ‘em and whenever I try, they call me on it and the best part is the whole while, they’re not judging me for it. Way cool. Dig those kind of people. Unfortunately, there aren’t a whole lot of ‘em around…the nonjudgmental piece being key here.

After Massachusetts, I took a weekend class here in town. Yeah, more studying. I’m doing a lot of looking into human behavior…why I do all the things I do and why other people do what they do. Fascinating stuff.

Then the trip to San Diego…another weekend seminar. I’ve been quite the little student lately. Now it’s time to take all the stuff I’ve learned and actually apply it. It’s a very exciting time. I’ve said it before and it’s a message that I will do my best to spread…the healing starts with the parents. If we’re nuts, our kids are only gonna come so far. And let’s face it….most of us are really nuts.

I think Jakob’s happy to have me home. A little consistency will do us both some good. I’ve been seeing some behaviors in him that I haven’t seen in awhile. They’re the old standards he goes to when things get a little stirred up…like the tantrums, the peeing all over the place, coloring on the walls and the OCD stuff. All my favorites! But after only a few days at home, most of it has gone away.

When asked if Jakob was a button-pusher, I used to always say “no”. That was a lie. Little turkey. He’s so good at button-pushing that I never even realized he was doing it! Taking myself out of the situation for a few days and coming back with a new perspective has made that clear to me. He’s really been practicing some of his acting skills…the shaking the head “no” fast and furiously so his hair flies all over the place while he musters up watery eyes…all over wanting candy. Impressive. He’ll give a few shakes then pause to see if it’s working. That’s not one of my personal buttons but I imagine it’s somebody’s or he wouldn’t try it. As soon as he sees that doesn’t work, it’s on to foot stomping or ear-smacking (his own). That one doesn’t work on me either.

The one that has potential is the simple nagging…the same thing over and over and over. We had one last over an hour the other night…he’s dedicated and persistent. I made it through without going bonkers. And what’s so great is as soon as he’s done, he’s done. He moves on as if nothing had even happened. He lets it go. I know of quite a few adults who could learn that lesson from my little personal Buddha. Let it go.

So I’m home now for awhile and I’ll be pulling some new tricks out of my bag. I can’t wait to see which ones work the best for us. It’s party time and I’ll keep ya posted…