My favorite picture from this Christmas…Jakob and my Dad. They both like Jakob’s new hat…a lot.

There are approximately 4000 lights on in my house right now. If you count all the Christmas lights, I’m not kidding.

“Lights on” is a phrase heard frequently in our home. I don’t remember exactly when it started but it’s been at least since last summer. That’s when I remember the electric bill going through the roof. And since we put up all the Christmas decorations, it’s really been a treat. We have by far the brightest house on the block. Probably in all of Warren County.

I have yet to figure out why but Jakob is insistent on all the lights being on at all times. He will not get out of bed in the morning until all the lights upstairs are on. Every morning at 7:28, this is what he says, “bathroom lights on, big light on, hallway light on, black light on, little light on, bathroom Christmas tree light on, Christmas light on, window open, window open, Grinch light on, Sandy’s bathroom light on, Christmas lights on, big light on, Christmas tree light on, Christmas light on, Grandma’s house light on”. I’m sure I messed up the order and I may have forgotten one or two but I’m pretty close. And that’s just the upstairs. He runs through a similar and longer list for the main floor. And all those lights must be on before he’ll come down the stairs.

The Christmas trees (5 full-size) will come down tomorrow when he’s with his dad. All the rest of the Christmas stuff too. I got way too much stuff. It’ll be interesting to see how he reacts to so many lights being gone. Since he was fine before they went up, I’m sure he’ll be fine with them down. Yup, I’m sure.

We actually have quite a lot of activities we do together surrounding the lights. We spend a lot of time going around and pointing out lights that are “burnt out”. Except it’s more like “burnt ooouuuttt”…like an umpire calling out a runner at home plate. It’s very dramatic. And burnt out lights are only allowed to exist in pairs…2 lights out in the kitchen, 2 in the living room, 2 in the bathroom, 2 in the dining room, 2 in my room and 2 in the chandelier. Once again, I have no clue. But he pulls me around by my hand and says, “mom, say 2 lights” and I go through the routine with the big umpire hand signals, “2 lights are burnt ooouuuttt”. He laughs. Every time.

When a light burns out, it’s a major production. We spend a little time assessing the situation and calling it ooouuuttt. Sometimes, the sitch calls for an immediate replacement. Other times, it can wait a little bit. Today, we had light #5 in the playroom burn out. (Did I mention the lights that don’t have a name, have a number?) This was a big deal because I had no more new floodlights in the house and I was on my way to Zumba. So we negotiated a trip to Target (at 1:58) to purchase light bulbs and he was cool with that.

At 1:58, we walked out the door. (I’ll cover the time negotiation arrangement in a future post, I promise). We drove the exact route he prefers and we parked on the left in his favorite row. We got a cart and he took me straight to the light bulbs.

As we headed to checkout lane #12, which he chose from all of the checkout lane lights that were on, I mentally prepared myself for what was to come as I paid $25 for 6 stinking floodlights. There were 14 checkout lanes at Target and not all of them were open with their lights on. So here we go…”1 light is burnt ooouuuttt, 3 light is burnt ooouuuttt, 4 light is burnt ooouuuttt, Mom say loud, 6 light is burnt ooouuuttt”. So I chime in with my best umpire hand signals, “6 light is burnt ooouuuttt, 9 light is burnt ooouuuttt, 11 light is burnt ooouuuttt”. He had the biggest grin on his face as I said to all the people looking at us like we were nuts, “he’s got a thing for burnt out lights”. And the woman right behind us in line said, “I can tell”.

She has no idea…

(This post was brought to you by the low batteries light, the black snowman light, the bear light, the outside light, the garage light, the backyard light, the duck light, the corner light, the jellyfish light, the bathroom tree light, the laundry room light, the sink light, the garden room light, the moose room light, the merry and bright light and the many more lights that make our house a home…)