So I have done it, I have made it through a month not drinking, I said I was going to do it, and I did.  Am I proud of myself? You bet your goddamn ass I am 🙂 And I feel a lot freaking better.  I honestly just feel great. About life in general. I know a lot of people to dry January to jump start a health trend or whatever other reason,  but for me it was for more, and it has been. I was so burnout from everything 2020 as I’m sure a lot of you are/were as well. Maybe it was the speed dating I added one at the end of the year that really did me in LOL. Emotions and brain waves exhaust the soul just as much if  not more than physical feats I have learned… I just woke up so exhausted, mentally, emotionally, and physically I thought, I am finally going to do what the doctors have been telling me for 2 years- take a break. I have gone on so many podcasts and humble-bragged about being so tired and burnout but charging through! Ill sleep when I die! But then, you wake up one day and realize, I have been doing this sh*t wrong and now I am going to change it. I tend to not make changes I don’t want to until I absolutely have to. So I did, this month I have stayed home, exercised less (which is good for me), socialized over self care, and spent great quality time with friends and with myself and its been amazing.  Respecting myself better, and everything else in turn.

But on Day one, I was not so excited about all this. I was freakin scared. Mostly to fess up to smoking again, that hurt the heart, and I was scared. AH.

This is where the scary part comes in, when you begin to think in complete sweeping thoughts The cancel culture of decision making in your brain. “what if i fail” “what if I gain weight” “what is i just f**k it all up?”  know I begin to generalize, exaggerate,  and lie to myself when making tough decisions, this was one of those times.  And as I went through this month the most important thing I have learned is….you can change your mind and your life whenever the F you want. Just make sure you are moving in your right direction and moving forward. So that is what I am doing. And let me tell ya, really fully understanding this element, has made me much more excited about life in general. And in turn, made me a  better everything, daughter, sister, radio host, partner, neighbor, everything. I am more capable of dealing with life in general, and I am happier to do so. Now Im curious to continue, Im into it so lets keep it going. I haven’t been excited and obsessed with anything since workout videos… so lets keep it going.

I keep promising a video here…I want the first one back to be with mom, she’s coming over this coming weekend so if I can convince her…lookout.

Also, 37 days no booze or ciggies, eat my dust and watch my hair blow in the wind ciggies 😉

And can I just say, if you are reading still and struggling to not smoke, you can do it. Every former smoker said to me, a year and a half ago, “its ok if it happens again, just get back on the horse” and I was bound and determined to prove everyone wrong in that whole “ill sleep when I die” mentality, which we know didn’t work. Or if it is anything else you are struggling with, you can do it. Just Keep going.

-Make yourself proud babe 🙂

Until next time, stay fly.

nat